2. Driving gloves
You think they speak of Aston Martin convertibles, winding mountain roads and timeless James Bond-style glamour. Actually they speak of Rover estates, suburban B-roads and a massive midlife crisis. Who do you think we are, Jeremy Clarkson or Alan Partridge?
3. Soap on a rope
This retro item – redolent of Brut 33, Blue Stratos, Denim and Old Spice – has been “reinvented” in recent years. Upmarket grooming brands now make them and they inevitably appear in every “For him” gift guide. Sadly, they look a lot less swanky after a couple of uses, when the embossed logo has worn off, cracks have appeared and hair is stuck to them.
4. A wallet
As creatures of habit, we like our current wallet, thanks very much. The leather has grown reassuringly soft and there’s a slot for everything we need. The new one will inevitably be too big or small, with annoying pockets and stiffly creaky leather. We’ll resent it until around March when it starts to “wear in”.
5. Posh shaving kits
You know the ones. A shiny little stand with a yak’s hair shaving brush and platinum-bladed razor. Twee apothecary jars of creamy unguents that we don’t know what to do with. Thing is, we’ve been shaving every day for years. We’ve got this routine down. Don’t try and make us do it a completely different way or we’ll cry.